Having Children

I wonder what type of preparation for marriage do Malaysians undergo. For Catholics there is a program where couples who plan to marry must undergo a marriage course that spans a few months.

I don’t know what they teach there for when I got married many years ago there was no such requirement. I would guess the course would cover the sanctity of marriage and how children play a role in enriching a marriage.

It seems that we have many problems of delinquent children and the authorities want to make parents responsible for wayward children and some parents really agonize about their children not practicing the religion they were born into.
It is a problem for many Malaysians, as sometimes the original religion may not appeal to your children.

But I don’t think the government is the best agency to deal with children who do not want to practise your religion.

My opinion is that parents must plan to have the number of children that they, and not the government, are able to nurture and nourish.
Not only in feeding them and clothing them and providing shelter but also to be able to spend time with them and to provide proper guidance.

I suggest a modern family where both husband and wife work, with no family member but the maid at home, two to three children should be sufficient unless you want some children to join the non-graduate work force.

Nothing wrong with that as with too many children and both parents working, you will simply be unable to provide proper child-rearing capabilities or both of you will suffer from burnout. I think the advice to Malaysians to have many children to support the 70m-population target in the 70s was really misguided.

Perhaps this is one reason many Malaysian marriages end in divorce and that puts even more stress on the children as a broken home means more will seek solace and distraction in other activities like drugs and vice and even another religion.

Many cases have also been reported about crimes committed within the family and there is an article here

My wife and I have four children and during the earlier years, my mother stayed with us and provided much support for the children. My youngest is now nineteen and we are happy that he has been accepted into a good university and so should join his graduate siblings in three years.

I write this not to boast about my children – for sure we are not perfect parents nor are they perfect children. It is to advise younger readers to make sure you are able to nurture your children well if you want them to grow into responsible citizens.